Monday, July 27, 2009

Blind Sighted by My Goal

Some of you may read the title of this post and wonder how can someone be blind sighted by a goal? Isn't it suppose to be a good thing to be focused? Well, the truth is tenacity can sometimes cause you to still fall short of life; because I have. I missed out on the good times, the simplest moments of laughter and fun. I missed out on an opportunity to change someone's life forever. And I don't think I can get that chance back. I was so focused on my goal, my plan of action, that I hated to get off track. I stressed myself out trying to stick to the plan. And because of my determination I pushed the things that mattered the most away. I can honestly say I traded my most profound comrade for a seat on the Dean's List; for an advancement that God had already planned for me. All I can do now is hope and pray that I am forgiven. As humans we make mistakes, as scholars we miss out on the intricate moments in life, too focused to smell the roses and prune the trees. Forgive me for my goal has blind sighted me. And I do want you back my friend. Maybe you can teach me to relax and let life be itself.

Dedicated to Nellie.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


I have decided that every Sunday I am going to post a biblical lesson that I have learned in life or listened to while at church.

First off, I must say I am human, subject to fleshly desires, and worldly sins, but I am first a child of God and I strive to live a Christian lifestyle. I write to share and hopefully touch someone else.


Today at Passage, Pastor Dix introduced Matthew 28:18-20, a verse you have heard at least once in your life: The Great Commission. He broke down the purpose we all share into three parts all starting with the verb Go...

[1] Go into the world and teach. Greek translation for teach in this line is "to make disciples." As Christians we assume our purpose is to make coverts, go to church, and praise God, but our duties are more extensive. We should not only make converts, but make disciples. Teach the Gospel and continue to fellowship with God's people--those in the church and most importantly out of the church.

[2] Go baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. You do not have to wait until you die to go to the kingdom of God. It is not a place, but rather a way of living. Show those around you and those afar that God is able and he is able NOW!

[3] Go teach them what God has taught you so they can live Godly lives. Greek translation for teach in this line is "to instruct."

And the promise from God is that He will be with you even until the end of time.


Listening to this sermon today, it did not hit me until later that we have work to do. It is common to ponder your existence and because we do not get an immediate answer, sit down and wait. Instead, in the meantime, fulfill God's will and you will soon find your purpose.

I knew I wanted to be an engineer since the beginning of high school. Influenced by my brother and uncle, Dr. Father Gerard Jean-Juste (google him!), I took it to be my calling. Finally seeing what I got myself into, there were times when I thought to myself why am I doing this? The odds are against me anyway--minority, woman, black, and engineer? But I stuck through it and I am grateful I did because now I see the purpose that God put me here. It is not for my glory but His; however, in the process of following His plan for me I will live abundantly and blessed. Me studying electrical engineering will bring blessings upon many: the little girls I inspire, the impoverished countries I will help, the new perspective I will instill for Black women engineers. There are so many blessings coming out of my struggle and it is not only for me but for the world to also share.
So in return, I will evangelize. I will make disciples. I will baptize those in the name of the Lord. For His glory and for my happiness...

Self Definition? Self Inquisitive?


Do you ever ask yourself "What defines me?" I think it is an important question we must all ask ourselves one day, if not everyday. Many of us walk through life thinking we know ourselves, but if we never cultivate our minds with some kind of stimulus package how can we be sure?
As humans we are forever learning new things, forever evolving from old ways, and shedding old skin.

I have found that doing self-evaluations really do help put you back in check. Find time alone, isolated from outsiders, with a Bible in one hand and a diary in the other, and try connecting with your inner self. Kind of like a colon cleanse (and avoiding bias), you can really help yourself rid of B.S. you know you should have let go a long time ago. Besides the cleanse you also get to notice the true qualities of your self that make you original and authentic.

Sometimes in this society we get side-tracked by what's hot or in season. To tell you the truth, those people who try to dictate our lifestyles are lost themselves--filling a void by laying in fabrics and walking around with to do lists do not help. Finding myelf is more appealing than being a follower anyway! That should be a life trend!



Why is it that as women we define ourselves through our hair? Can anyone give me the definite answer?

I have decided to let mine grow out. Why? Because the pull I had made me feel powerful, seductive, and at an advantage. But then I cut it like Rihanna's because I wanted to make a statement of freshness, edge, and fierceness. Hmmm, women! So confusing...[as I decide my next move]


I have a secret, but I cannot tell you it more than once. Jimmy Choo and H&M can be put in the same sentence (one day)...I will be there, so all 7.5/8 are mine! And if I have to employ the scene from "Confessions of A Shopaholic", I will!!!


I never thought to put eye lashes on but I think I may try it! I would like to try the catty look, typical of Beyonce and Eva Mendes.

The Beginning of Love

Overwhelmed with thoughts, stories, and life, I thought this a bright idea to start a blog. I walk through life always thinking, forever experiencing and now I find a place to lay my head and creatively write. For you and for me. Enjoy my blog, indulge in my world, live vicariously through me and most of all continue to live!