Sunday, April 18, 2010

Fill Me Up Please

I want to be a Book of Acts Christian. This is a person who gets filled with the Holy Spirit before they do everything.

You may often wonder why is it that you may encounter someone in the church and all their spiritual gifts are gleaming through. They are showing you hospitality, grace, love...all fruits of the spirit. But then, encountering this person on the street or in their house and confusion gains way...no she didn't just do or say that. What is up with homegirl! She don't be acting like that at church!
The reason why this happens is because we often operate in our flesh when we are outside the sacred four walls of the church. When we are in God's presence and filled with the Holy Spirit we operate as angels-spreading love and grace over all people and situations. BUT as soon as we leave this realm (of spiritual groundedness), we begin to operate in our flesh. At these times, PAUSE, PRAY for the Holy Spirit, and then press PLAY. These are the three P's to remember.
These situations are not to judge each other or render their niceness as fake, but to edify the person in the name of Jesus and let her or him know, hey you are operating in your flesh right now. Pause, Pray, and Play.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Spring Time





The more I sit outside in the backyard enjoying nature the more I love my nakedness... Sounds off the wall I know. Really looking at nature I see how everything is so perfectly imperfect.. Nature (grass, plants, trees, animals) doesn't believe in symmetry unless that symmetry serves some kinda function. It's like how one hand or one boob is bigger than the other but symmetry is maintained because there are two (which serves the function of nourishing another life). Why can't humans grasp that? How do we end up obsessed with symmetry (straight nose, straight hair, evenly huge boobs, etc) when we all don't come that way. There's beauty in our variety and differences. *sigh* God is so gosh darned awesome!
-Natalia Crosdale

She gets it! And we all should get it! It's ironic that my friend had this revelation today because while in class (Microelectronic Fabrication to be exact) I was doodling. Something I haven't done in years. What fascinated me about my own doodling was what my mind was meditating on:

SPRING TIME

There is something about this season that illustrates God's majestic beauty!
Hair grows at its fastest rate (girls should appreciate this), flowers bloom, and bumble bees swarm the
pollen-saturated air. Life is everywhere! What's even more inspiring is the love that culminates everywhere I look. It's as if God's fragrance is stimulating spurts of love...maybe the name of His cologne is Serenade and He summons the birds to chirp sweet melodies of adoration. God is so dramatic! I really think this is His favorite season because we are able to see His glory prevail--love. This season makes me hope all things and believe all things (1 Cor. 13). Ironic I say this because Jesus died during this season; He died so that we may live, so that nature may be nourished. As he rose, so did the flowers bloom, bumble bees roam, and birds sing songs!

Spring time! It opened my friend's eyes to realize he loves his girlfriend. What was he thinking otherwise? It gave my friend a revelation that her imperfections are perfectly in symmetry. But God made her in His image. What are you going to allow it reveal to you?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Die

I want to die...
Not yesterday or tomorrow, but today--everyday.
I want to burn the desire of me, my lifeline to this world.
If I could muster up enough courage, I would cut so many ties.
I would first write a hate letter to my pimp, Lucifer.
He was the first to deceive me, lie to me about his light.
Showing me things that glimmered like gold, he said I could have the world.
Where was his glitz and glam when I had the gun to my head?
Oh, and I would slain my idol.
She made me believe that I could stand on top of it all, have the body and pearls to adorn.
What an oxymoron because that took me having one foot in purity and the other in the lion's den.
Lady on the streets, but a freak in the sheets.
They lied to me!
Told me I was worthy, but why do I feel so filthy?
I want to die.
I know it'll be easier than this mundane life; lack luster life.
Kill me please; allow me to die to myself and these lies.
He pimped me! And I let him own me. Put his mark on me as if he made me.
D: Dear; I: Invisible; E: Enemy
It's over!
I found a life that's eternal.
I died today and found life in He.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

If He Can't Meet You Where You Are, Then Leave Him Where He's At...

Words from Jamal Harrison-Bryant:
I often warn women who are contemplating marriage to marry someone whocan take care of them. When a woman marries, it ought to be to someone whois capable of taking her to the next level. If she comes from poverty,there is no reason for her to get married and still be impoverished. The role ofthe man is to take her to another place.When she gets married, she ought to dress better, drive better, livebetter, and eat better, not constantly be in a struggle over where her nextmeal is coming from. My grandmother used to say, 'I can do bad all by myself.¢For a woman desiring a mate, the objective, of course, would be to find aChristian man, who's settled, has goals, accomplishments and a job. Buta goal-oriented and focused man can't just be approached any kind of way.So the woman who seeks this type of stability must make sure that hestands out above the crowd:1. Make sure your relationship with the Lord is strong and growing.2. Make sure that you are presentable. Working from the inside out, yourpresentation should be representative of both who you are and whom youseek.Appearance is a reflection of how you see yourself.3. Have the ability to hold an intelligent conversation.4. And most importantly, allow the Holy Ghost to take control. Youdon't need to go after him. He's going to come after you, because after hesees and smells you and knows that you're in his presence, he's going towant to know who you are! I know there's somebody reading this who has beenchasing after the 'man of your dreams,' but God says, 'Just sit still and allowpatience to have her perfect work through Me. 'Furthermore, it's never a good idea to be too forward and too aggressive.Attempting to win a man's affection by jumping into bed with him willonly backfire and cause him to lose interest in ever developing a lastingrelationship. It causes him to lose respect for you and question yourcharacter.However, if he sees that you are dressed with quality, that you smelllike you are somebody, that you look like you're doing fine without him,then that will attract the right attention from him. He'll have no choicebut to give you his attention. Stop looking so needy, climbing into bed,trying in vain to capture a man's heart.God woke me up in the middle of the night and said, 'The same thingthat Naomi told Ruth to do is the same thing that I want them to do for me.'God is so sick of saints coming to Him trying to get a quickie andnever romancing Him for Who he is - going to church screaming, shouting andhollering, but hadn't been intimate with God all week long! Stop tryingto treat God like a sugar daddy and start romancing Him with worship andpraise: 'I'm yours Lord...everything I've got...everything I'm not!'The God we serve, which is the God of love, demands and requires of usforeplay before He gives us what we need. In the book of Ruth, themother-in-law tells Ruth, 'You have to wash.' John 15:3 reminds us, Nowye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. When you sitin the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you are taking a shower. When you hear theunadulterated Word of God, then the dirt and grime that you'veaccumulated all week long begins to wash off of you.Ask God to 'create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit.'Stand in the word. Then wait upon the Lord to renew your strength. Passthis on to those who have found or are seeking Mr. Right. This message isnot directed at the receiver, it is directed to women I know that touchother young women that can benefit from this information. We are to beNaomi's of the world today. Our young women need to be informed of how to catchand keep a man that will respect them.
P. S. Pass this on to every woman you know!"
If he can't meet you where you are....leave him where he's at "

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Naked In Its Natural Essence

NAKED adj. devoid of elaboration or diminution or concealment; bare and pure (Google)
NATURAL adj. free from affectation or constraint (dictionary.com)

What is it to be natural?
Why all this commotion about celebrating pure freedom in self and culture?
Why did Chris Rock produce "Good Hair"?

These questions are relevant to the discussion of "being natural." In the Black community, to be natural is to strip yourself of western influences and make a connection to your African ancestry through your hair, dress, and/or mindset. After much speculation, I have decided to join the grassroots movement in being comfortable in my own skin; appreciating what God has given me--kinky hair and all. Of course this is a surprise to many because they cannot fathom why I, blessed with long, lustrous locks, would want to go back to "naps and beadie beads" as they call it. But i get it--I get why they are skeptical and distaste such a controversial decision to move backwards.

In middle school when my mom finally approved of me getting my first perm, I was ecstatic. Having straight, smooth, refined hair was all I wanted for Christmas. I did nothing with my natural hair but where poof balls and braids. Oh, those sessions on my butt for hours were dreadful. I remember my sister tugging at my tight curls as if it was a sin for my hair to be so thick. Oh the pain! Thus, why wouldn't I get a perm? I would be accepted, guys would finally look my way (at least I thought they would), and I would look forward to communal ownership over my hair because I represented the few Black girls with long hair (everybody wanted in; to live vicariously through me). When the day for my first perm finally came, I felt like I was inducted into the pool of American beauty.

Now 10 years into being a "creamy crack" addict (relaxers, lol), I would have never imagined that I would decide to go natural. It took really understanding true beauty for me to make this decision and Chris Rock's movie helped manifest my acceptance of what God made me to be--an all naturel! Because so many other women are starting to love their kinky curls, it makes it so much easier to make this decision. Saving $60 every 2-3 months is a great motive also! No more worrying about getting my hair wet, limiting my adventurous activities (jumping into the pool), or dreading the wash/roller dry/flat iron process to get my hair straightened!

There are so many natural products to help enhance kinky hair and websites/books dedicated to teaching you how to appreciate and take care of your natural hair. I highly encourage my sisters to consider being "naked for Jesus", in the sense of being free in your own skin as He intended. God made us with curly hair for a reason, but we have been manipulated to believe that having long, straight hair like our counterparts is what makes us beautiful. If being Black wasn't a good thing, scientists wouldn't be conducting studies on why we have such unique hair texture, or why we have more melanin in our skin, or why we're just more deeply intense culturally.

So if you are thinking about going natural, I encourage you to find a support group of people who are going through or have been through the process. Then ask yourself, are you ready to stand out of a crowd? Can you handle a transitioning stage or are you more bold and ready for the "Great Chop?" Here are some great websites (research is a good thing):

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/281964/from_chemically_permed_to_natural_hair.html?cat=69

http://www.roundbrushhair.com/

http://nappyme.wordpress.com/

http://www.bvhairtalk.com/2008/07/10/kinky-curly-tips-for-natural-hair-care/


I will be sure to post my journey! I hope that I can be an encouragement to someone else who is considering such a drastic change. But I am sure it's going to be worth it!

NAKED for Jesus!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

I Found Love...

I found love in something that is boundless.
I found something so rich in pureness that it can never be tainted.
I found a God that loves me through all transgressions.
--Me

For so long, so many of us walk through life blinded by obscurities of what defines our mere existence. Hoping to run into a brink wall that will bring us to reality, we convince ourselves that being senseless, emotionless, and tunnel-minded is the tool to making it through our lives. When we get hurt, we turn cold-hearted. When we fail, we grow tough-skinned. When we fall short, we double our loads to make up for lost pieces. But how about when we don't feel like doing it anymore, how do we cope with the pain? The answer for most is suppression, avoidance, and depression.

Why do we openly submit ourselves to feeling torn and helpless? Jesus died for all these feelings. He was crucified so that we do not have to feel unworthy. Laying your burdens at his feet and drinking from his overflowing cup of life is so easy to do only if we would open our hearts to being restored rather than broken and cold. I was there! I know how it feels to hold on to pain. I know what it means to be "your own worst enemy." But why not be delivered!

God cares...He's there...He's everywhere. Ready to fill you with the Holy Spirit. All you have to do is ask!

Now that is true love. Something a man, woman, family, or friends can never give you!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Transitioning to the New LIfe (again)

Why is it when you end a relationship whether platonic or romantic, it is inevitable to come to a transition phase? A place where you feel semi-empty and remotely confused as if reality took a whirl-wind, unexpected turn. This of course is usually not the case because you knew this period of loneliness was in favor.

Personally, I don't enjoy any aspect of this feeling. But then, would it be inhumane to not experience the "transition phase"? Would moving on with my life smoothly indicate I did not have sincere feelings for the person? Why do we have to get use to a process instead of openly welcoming or embracing our new life, without the retired specimen?

Maybe the best option is to act like it never happened, then when the end is valid you can press play to your previous life and disregard the present as a director's cut (unnecessary scene to this melodramatic screenplay).