Monday, October 10, 2011

Being Single Sux!

Fifth wedding in six months and we just graduated college four months ago. Bridesmaid eight times removed. 24 and single (seems like I'm always ready to mingle). Even my feminist best friend has a man, who she doesn't even really like, but what does that leave me...single as usual! Ugh!!! What is it? Am I crazy? Are my standards too superficial? Is it the little mustache I have (I actually think its kinda cute though)?!? Maybe its my quirks? I thought guys like girls that actually have substance...WHY AM I STILL SINGLE??? Someone please answer the question!

In just a few lines I have summed up the monstrosity of thoughts that go through the minds of 20- (and 30-) somethings worldwide. In quest of conquering your "still single" demons, you are constantly fighting off the green-eye syndrome (covetousness/envy/jealousy) but continue to rationalize your roller coaster emotions because you want what Jane has and what's wrong with that? Well, here are a few things to keep in mind when your drooling over your skewed version of next girl's (or guy's) rosy-shaded, "grass is greener on the other side" relationship:

1. Ever heard all that glitters ain't gold? Breaking News: you are single for a reason that is greater than yourself! If it was God's will for you to be in a relationship at this very moment that would be the case. Due note that coveting is all in the eye of the covet-er, but usually the perceived notions are NOT reality. Yes it is bittersweet that most of your friends are engaged or married, but let's do a thorough analysis if it were you. [Think long and hard about it] You may be ready in your natural mind, but God is preparing you for more than a natural union. Marriage is not solely about unlimited sex and emotional exchange. It is the beginning of ministry-the ordained Will of God and the charge set up for your divine matrimony shall be revealed to two COMPLETE people. If God has not released you from His covering it may be that you are not a finished product (lacking luster and shine), He has much more to reveal to you (identity and purpose), and/or maybe it's not you but your mate that needs more pruning!

2. It would suck to have the right thing at the wrong time. Think back to when you wanted something so bad but when you finally got it, especially if it was too soon or without sincere effort, it eventually lost its appeal. That sums up the 50% divorce rate (to an extent)! Wait your turn, Beloved. "Do not awaken love before its time" because you will end up hating yourself for being impatient.

3. Can you juggle? Many women (and men) want to get married and cannot even balance their single life, let alone their checkbooks. To be a virtuous wife, you must already be a virtuous woman. Something you can only know how to be in your singleness with the Lord. You don't magically become virtuous because a ring is put on your finger. Instead you become Jill of all trades- now juggling a new role and more responsibilities. #Promotion
The Lord may have called you to intercede on the behalf of your sister, Mom, or a friend. In response, you moaned and groaned or may have even totally ignored His call to stand in the gap as a pillar of hope. However, you pray every night for a Prince Charming, three kids, and a house on the hill with the picket white fence. Misconception Alert! What do you think you'll be doing as a wife? Prayer Warrior! Supporter! Counselor! Wisdom herself! If you are not already hanging with Prudence you will fail miserably as a wife and mother...sorry to bear the truth.

4. Last and most importantly: Live your life like it's golden. There is no need to rush a good thing. I watch these reality shows of mothers who are overbearing and smother their kids to death because they try to make up for lost time by living vicariously through them. They end up going through mid-life crisis wishing they would've spent more time getting to know themselves and enjoying their 20's. This is the prime time of your life. Travel. Do adventurous things. Start a business. Pursue professional goals. Conquer the world. Because when you have those lovely rascals most of your time will go to rearing them. So don't be like those crazed parents I talk about (lol), but enjoy your singleness. Grow in your faith and fall deeper in love with your God!

It is easy to get distracted at this time. So write down your life goals and dreams. As you wait for Prince Charming or your Queen, become the captivating, wild at heart Warrior God has ordained you to be with or without your spouse. Now when they do come along at God's perfect timing you will not waste time trying to get yourself together, but instead will focus immediately on your purpose as One united body serving as living sacrifices for God's glory!

11 Things to Know at 25(ish)